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With Age Comes Experience:

The sad thing about experience is that by the time you have it, nobody wants it!

Thanks Harry Pennington
Lancashire, England

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You think you're getting older when:

You are reading this entire website hoping that none of these comments apply to you!

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

You know you're getting older when you've run out of things to learn the hard way
     Contributed by & Thanks to:    Ronald Howard   Riverton, Wyoming

Older than Dirt
I've heard some people say that my dad is older than dirt. Not true, he discovered it!
     Thanks Dave Doty, Lake Placid, FL

You Know:
You know you're getting older when you've heard yourself say, "Because I told you so!"

At my age rolling out of bed in the morning is easy...getting up off the floor is another story.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

At my age happy hour is nap time.

There are 3 Ages of Man: youth, middle age, and you look good!

Remember When...
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3-inch floppy . . . You just hoped nobody ever found out!

Fortunately I'm too poor to have a mid-life crises.

Don't let aging get you down--it's too hard to get back up!

When your joints are more accurate than the weatherman's, you know you're getting older!

"Inside every 70-year-old is a 35-year-old asking, 'What happened?'" --Ann Landers

"The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older." --Doug Larson

"Old age is always 15 years older than I am." --Bernard Baruch

More funny getting older jokes continue below...

Funny Getting Older Jokes And One-Liners

You know you're getting old when you need a vacation, from your vacation!

The dangerous age is anywhere between one and ninety-nine

Our aim in life improves as we grow older, but it seems that we soon run out of ammunition

Some people are like plants, some go to seed with age, and others just go to pot

You have arrived at old age when all you can put your teeth into... is a glass

You know you're getting older when it takes you longer to get over having a good time than it took to have it!

Darn, old age is unpredictable. One morning you wake up.. and there you have it

You're getting older when you are on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does

Children are a comfort to us in old age, and they'll help us reach it faster, too!

Growing older is when you really learn what the statue of limitations is all about

You just can't win. When you get too old for pimples, you go right into wrinkles!

There are 3 things that indicate you are getting older, first there is loss of memory....... ......

The worse thing about growing old is having to listen to the advise of one's children

Does it take you longer to rest than it did to get tired?

You're getting older when the girl you just smiled at thinks you are one of her father's friends

Remember when you saved up for old age? Now you just save up for April 15th

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old. It's knowing that he's married to a grandmother

You are getting older when you remember when a girl with hidden charms, hid them.

Do you have a funny Getting Older Joke?  Use the form below and send it to me!

Breaking Up   Thanks to: Rulie Folsom

My daughter came home crying one night "Oh mom we broke up"  she cried , "or actually  he broke up  with me."   I'm not too old to remember a broken heart, so I put my arm around her and assured her that her heart would mend in time."

Then she said...

"Oh, I don't really care  that we  broke up, its  just  that i wanted to be the one  to do it!"

These Funny Getting Older Jokes are Quotes

An Idaho man said, "At my age, by the time I find temptation, I'm too tired to give in to it."

George Burns once said, "If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."

An aging gentleman in the hospital refused to eat a bowl of jello. He told the nurse, "I'm not going to eat anything that's more nervous than I am."

"I'm not saying she's getting older, but when she lit the candles on her birthday cake, five people passed out from heat exhaustion."

An antique dealer told me, "Age is what makes furniture worth more and people worth less."

Grandpa said, "By the time a man finds greener pastures, he's too old to climb the fence."

Growing older is when, "You're too old for castor oil and too young for Geritol."

My secretary says that, "Some people grow up and spread cheer; others just grow up and spread."

... and funny getting older jokes from the best expert on aging... 
George Burns used to get a standing ovation just for walking up on stage. It was confusing to him. He said, "All it took for me to get here, was a little time."

Funny Getting Older Jokes
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